'I'm being taken to court for protecting my child from their sex offender dad'

A mum from Fife wants the law changed so convicted paedophiles automatically lose the right to see their children.

Her partner admitted downloading images involving sexual abuse – but is now using the courts to try to get access to their kids.

The woman, whom STV News is calling Alexandra, says the process is being weaponised to cause her extra stress by forcing parents to fight legal battles to keep children safe.

The UK Government recently passed a law that means there is no parental presumption of contact for someone who is convicted of child sex offences in England and Wales.

Alexandra is calling on the new Scottish Government to follow suit and implement the same changes to put the child first, before the offender.

‘My whole world imploded’

Alexandra recalled the day detectives came to the door of her family home.

“I was getting ready for work when we heard a knock on the door around 8.30am, which I thought was kind of odd – who would be here at this time?” she said.

Her long-term partner went to answer the door.

She added: “I heard talking. I got called into the hall and the police were there in normal clothes.

“They said, ‘If you let us in, we’ll explain further why we’re here.’ My heart was pumping, like what’s going on?”

Inside, the detectives sat the couple down and explained that the downloading of child abuse images had been flagged up at their address.

“I remember that whole day being a complete blur,” she added.

“It didn’t even come into my head that my partner had anything to do with this. I’d been with him for over 14 years, I was thinking who had stayed at the house, have they been downloading something?

“I remember turning and looking at him sitting in the corner, very quiet, poker face. I asked, ‘Have you downloaded something by accident?’ He didn’t say anything.

“Then he just came out, ‘It was me, it was me.’ I was in complete shock.”

Following her partner’s confession, the house became a crime scene. Officers inspected rooms and seized electronic devices as Alexandra sat confined to the living room, prevented from going to work or feeding her baby alone.

“That was quite traumatic. I remember feeling like I was being treated like a criminal.”

Alexandria said her 'whole world imploded' after her partner was arrested — Alexandria said her ‘whole world imploded’ after her partner was arrested STV News

Later, the police came through to tell Alexandra her partner was under arrest. He would be barred from returning to the house or being near any child under 16.

“I’ve never had the feeling of the rug just being ripped out from under your feet,” she said. “In that moment, my whole world imploded.

“In my head, I was absolutely spiralling. What had they found and how bad was it?”

Two officers remained with Alexandra while she called her mum round to break the news.

Social workers visited Alexandra and her baby in the days that followed, followed by a further police visit. During that time, her partner had moved into his mum’s house.

She recalls the police did not give her further information regarding his case.

“To this day it still bothers me; we had a child together, I should have been told everything at that point,” she said.

“Even social workers struggled to get information from police about what he had done.

“The only person talking to me was him at that point and he was lying, downplaying it all while I was completely vulnerable.

“He was so good at playing the victim, even to the point you felt sorry for him.

“For being someone you’ve known for so long, it was just hard to get your head around – you don’t know this person at all. It’s been a hard pill to swallow.”

Her partner was granted supervised visits with their baby, which she initially attended. During those visits, the manipulation continued.

“He was saying he had a breakdown and was using the mental health card. It was a lot to deal with, and at the same time, you’re trying to keep it together for your child.”

Alexandra only found out about his court trial in the local newspaper. There, it detailed he had downloaded over 200 images, many of the most severe category, involving children aged eight to 14.

He was sentenced to two years on the sex offenders register and a 100-hours community payback order.

“That made me sick to my stomach.”

Following the trial, Alexandra stopped supervised visits and contact with her ex-partner. She said she “felt free” for the first time in several months.

“Everything was going great in life. We were moving on from this very traumatic experience.

“I felt that until my child is older and knows the truth, they can make their own decision whether to have contact with him or not.”

Then Alexandra said she received a letter informing her that her ex-partner was lodging civil court action to gain contact with their child.

Since then, she has been forced to attend child welfare hearings.

“Every time we’re there, they’re more focused on his human rights as opposed to my child’s rights and safety,” Alexandra said.

“I’m being taken to court for protecting my child from a convicted sex offender.

“He’s not allowed to be near any child under 16, so why should he be allowed to be near his own child?

“He’s not paid any maintenance. No birthday or Christmas gifts. It’s nothing to do with what’s best for our child.

“I fully believe this is about control.”

MP Graeme Downie, who has raised the issue with the Scottish Government, says the current framework places an unfair burden on parents seeking to protect their children.

He said: “The response (from the Scottish Government) was that it wasn’t necessary and that a parent could pursue a ban of contact through the civil courts. In my view, that puts the burden of proof in the wrong place. The burden should be on the person convicted of a sexual offence.

“At the moment in Scotland, if a parent is convicted of a sex offence, there is still a presumption that they are allowed to see their child.

“You can have situations where someone is not allowed near a school, but is allowed access to their own child – how is that putting child protection first?

“This isn’t just one individual – this is symptomatic of a much wider problem that needs to be addressed.”

Alexandra says she is continuing the fight to protect her child amid an exhausting legal battle.

“I’ve been doing right by my child and making sure they’re happy and thriving. I have the biggest support network and I give them a really good life.

“I feel like I’m being punished for protecting them. I just wish he would leave us alone.”

Kirsten Oswald, minister for victims and community safety, said: “Cases like this are deeply distressing and, in some situations, it may be in a child’s best interests for a convicted parent not to hold parental rights and responsibilities.

“Decisions of this nature remain with the civil courts, which are best placed to consider the full circumstances of each case and where the child’s welfare is the paramount consideration.

“In Scotland, any person with parental responsibilities and rights can have some or all of them removed by the civil courts under the Children (Scotland) Act 1995. The Scottish legal system is supported by robust child protection processes involving social work, police and other agencies.”