Podcaster Kelsey Parker speaks to ITV News’ Bairbre Holmes about her devasting loss and the need for people to be more open about death
Having suffered the loss of her husband three years ago and her third child in June, podcaster Kelsey Parker has decided to speak out, calling for the British to be “more open and honest” about death.
Kelsey, who announced she was expecting her third child in January, shared an Instagram post in June with the sad news that her son Pheonix was “born sleeping”.
His stillbirth came just a week before his due date.
The baby was Kelsey’s first with her new partner Will Lindsay, whom she met after the death of her husband, The Wanted star Tom Parker, from an inoperable brain tumour.
At the time of Pheonix’s death, Kelsey, who has a six-year-old daughter Aurelia and four-old-son Bodhi with the late singer, asked for space and time to process this “devastating and earth-shattering news”.
Asked why she had decided to speak out now, the 35-year-old podcaster told ITV News on Thursday: “Because I think as a nation, we are so bad at talking about death.
“Everyone’s so scared of the word. Everyone’s scared to die. But there can be beauty in death. And I just want to share my experiences with everyone.”
She said people needed to be more open and honest about death and not to shy away from those who are bereaved.
“I think that we just need to be more open about it because we are going to die – that is one thing we’re guaranteed in this life, that we are going to die,” she explained.
“And to not be afraid to talk to that person who’s gone through loss.
“Because, you know, when Tom died, people used to actually cross the road to not talk to me because they don’t know what to say. But I think there is no wrong or right. You just need to speak to that person.”
She said being open and honest with her children after the loss of Pheonix was even more important because they were experiencing grief for the second time.
“It’s brought everything to the surface,” she said. “Losing their dad and now obviously losing their brother. So it’s just making sure that they’re able to talk and have the space for us to listen.”
She said she reminds them that, although they have experienced “the most extreme loss” they are actually okay.
As for her? “Today I’m okay. Other days I’m not. But I’m just trying to get through each day.”
Kelsey said she was drawing support from her family, Will’s family, Tom’s family and her online followers.
“I think people are so devastated for me, but they know that I am strong and that I’ll be okay,” she told ITV News.
“I think people wanted the happy ending for me, and it hasn’t worked out that way.
“But, yeah, the love I’ve received has been absolutely incredible.”
Kelsey has previously spoken candidly about how trolls have made her feel guilty for having a new partner.
She said in March: “I’m always going to have guilt but what’s so hard is that Tom’s not here any more, so what do people want me to do?
“Our house was full of so much sadness but now it’s full of happiness, the kids deserve that more than anything.”
Following Tom’s death, Kelsey raised money for a brain tumour charity by organising annual charity football matches in his memory.
Her latest campaign is called Community Calling.
“It’s such a lovely campaign, which is getting people to get their old devices that are in their dusty drawers and to get them out, go on to Community Calling and back up your pictures, save everything that you want to save and then send your device off to someone in need,” she explained.
“Because there are so many people out there that haven’t got access to a device and it’s just so important to help others.”
The campaign also encourages participants to save their photos in a physical album. The first 500 people to sign up will get a free photo book, like one that Kelsey showed to ITV News.
“My children absolutely loved this when this came through the door because they don’t sit there and flick through the phone,” she said.
“I think a physical album is just so lovely. There’s so much magic in just flicking through these pictures.”
Kelsey hosts a podcast with model Georgia Jones called Mum’s the Word! where the pair share parenting advice with celebrity guests.
She recorded several episodes before going on maternity leave, which will air in the coming months.
“They were part of my journey so I didn’t want to not share them, and they all have incredible guests with really important stories and messages,” she said on Instagram.
“Please take the time to listen to these episodes and remember to be kind when doing so.”
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